Sermon
Lanier Christian Church
August 3, 2008

50 Day Program – “The Church You’ve Always Longed For”
David K. Simpson

  

Becoming a Caring Family

Acts 2:42-47

           

I was cutting our lawn last week and unintentionally stepped on a mound of fire ants.  A few of them got pretty mad, I guess, and they bit me on the ankle three or four times.   They kicked into their defense mechanism when I stepped on their nest and so the “warriors” went after me to protect the colony.

 

Ants are amazing creatures.  Their concern for each other and their work ethic serves as a model for humans.   In fact Proverbs 6:6 says:  “Go the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!”

 

Did you know that ant colonies are composed of ants with specific jobs like that of cleaning, building, engineering, foraging for food, protection, feed and caring for their young, etc.   There is only one queen, whose duty is to lay eggs and begin a colony.  The others serve her needs.  After a few days or weeks the ants may change their jobs as they take on new skills.    Ants are not afraid of work, in fact they can carry 10 to 20 times their body weight.  And they will often work in teams to move extremely heavy things.  When a catastrophe occurs ants will respond quickly by adapting their duties to overcome the problem.   They are also know to teach younger ants the tricks of the trade. 

 

Next time you see an ant colony, just know that these are some hard working and social creatures.   They go out of their way to care for each other and protect each other from harm.

 

We, as Christians, are the body of Christ, interwoven together as fellow workers in the kingdom of God.  There is only one King…Jesus…and it should be our desire to serve Him and to care for the needs of each other.     

Notice in Acts 2:42-47 that the birth of the church resulted not only in decisions, but in discipleship.

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching

and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they

gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet

together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and

ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and

enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their

number daily those who were being saved.

 

Let’s understand some basic points today about our duties as a caring family of believers:

          

1.  God made us to relate to one another

           

      Just like the disciples in the early church, our decision to become a Christian puts us into a relationship with him as our Savior but also with all who believe. God made us to be relational beings; we need to be loved. God did not make us a new creation in Christ to be alone.

      When God saw Adam, his first creation of the human species, he said, "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Gen. 2:18). God made us to be people who live in relationship with him and with others. One of our greatest needs, then, is to grow…not just individually…but in relation with others.   We need God, absolutely!   But, we also need each other.  First John 4:7-12 says,

            

       “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

       This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an

atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved

us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God;

but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

 

We are commanded to love each other.  God made us that way, and that’s the way we need to be living!

But we need not go through the motions, we must be those people who….

 

2.  Be real in regard to loving and caring.

                       

We can become complete by loving with God's divine love. We can become real. Many of us are asking about life, "Why am I here?" The answer: Because we need to be loved, and we need to love." How can we become real?" By loving others.

Maybe you’ve read the Velveteen Rabbit before:

           

      The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces.

      He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their main springs and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

     "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

     "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

     "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

     "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. ". . . It takes a long time. That's why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.        Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.

        But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." (Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit, Holt, Rinehart, and Winston Publishers, New York, 1983, pp. XX.)

           

       Our greatest need is to see the kind of loving that occurred in the early church. After being baptized into Christ, the disciples devoted themselves to two things: to learning God's Word as the apostles taught it and to loving each other through their caring fellowship. In addition to committing ourselves to obeying the Lord and his Word, my greatest desire for this church is that it be a place where people are "becoming real" by loving one another and by loving our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

                The problem is that we often isolate ourselves from one another. We separate ourselves from each other by putting a layer of protection around ourselves so that the real "us," our needs and anxieties, never touch the real part of anybody else.

                We are nice to each other.  But often its that we only exchange pleasantries, and we talk on a superficial level. We need to follow this week's action step, to "Learn to Listen with the Ears of Jesus." By taking the time to ask caring questions and to be active listeners, we can communicate to one another the love and compassion of our Lord. I encourage you to get together with other Christians during the week, to call them up on the phone, and to ask how you can pray for them.

                We are so accustomed to saying “fine” when someone asks “How are you doing,” that we are really thrown off when someone answers differently.   Many years ago my parents’ home was destroyed by fire.  They let me know late that Saturday, and so on Sunday morning one of our church leaders walks up to me while I’m in the copy room (at our old location) and asks “How are you?”

I responded that I was burdened by this news of the fire destroying the home where I grew up and didn’t know what I needed to do.  His response was, nothing about what I had just said but:  “Did you happen to get those copies made for me?” 

 

Many times we miss the cue that someone needs some tender loving care. Let us break through the "layer-to-layer" fellowship and have "heart-to-heart" fellowship. Too often--and men are the guiltiest of this--we protect ourselves so securely that we put our hearts in a box. We don't want to be hurt. We don't want anyone to know the real "us," because we're fearful that they won't accept the real "us" if they knew us. We do not realize that when we put our hearts in that box, sealed air-tight, no one can get in there. That box is a like a coffin in which we are killing ourselves by isolating and withdrawing from one another.

                Someone once said that the Ten Commandments of Men are:

           

            He shall not cry.

            He shall not display weakness.

            He shall not need affection, gentleness, or warmth.

            He shall comfort, but not desire comforting.

            He shall be needed, but not need.

            He shall touch, but not be touched.

            He shall be steel, not flesh.

            He shall never compromise his manhood.

            He shall stand alone.

           

            No man--or woman--is an island. We really do need one another!

                We have to make time for loving and caring. Our habit is to say, "I don't have time to care. I don't have time to get involved in other peoples' lives in the church."  We look at our watch or our calendar every time someone asks us to do something, and we say, "I'm too busy.”  If we really examine our lives, can we honestly say that we are giving our love and our care and concern to other people?   It’s a soul searching question.

                When I was a student in college, I met my future wife, Faith, there.   I was involved in many things and turned down an opportunity to continue singing in a quartet I was a part of.  The reason was that “I was too busy and didn’t have the time.”   But when I met Faith and fell in love, somehow that busy study and work schedule changed, and I found the time to spend more and more time with her.  

 

We say that we don't have time, but when we truly love one another, we make the time. Acts 2 shows us that the disciples spent a lot of time together. Verse 46 says, "Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts." If we are going to build a quality fellowship here, we need to make one another a priority. We need to spend time with one another.

        Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 tells of the benefits of friendships and why we need to be the body of Christ, woven together in everlasting tapestry. "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

                Two men were heading by dogsled to their outpost in Alaska. They were both in danger of freezing to death. As they were going along, they came upon someone who was apparently nearly frozen. One said to the other, "Let us stop and help him." The other said, "No, if we stop and help him, we will surely freeze to death and never make it." The one who wanted to help said, "Let me off here." He got off the dog sled as his companion continued. He tried to revive the dying man by massaging his arms and legs, in order to get the blood circulating in his body. The effort he expended in massaging this man's limbs gave him the physical heat that he needed himself to keep from freezing to death. The snow storm was soon over, and the two were safe. But down the path was a dead man with a dog sled, all alone. We need mutual support and effort.

               

You never know how God is waiting to love you through his people until you become vulnerable. Don't let selfishness and pride separate you from others in the body of Christ. You need that encouragement and support.

As Christians, let’s…

Take Some Practical steps to Caring

           

      Let look at six important steps in loving someone from a very practical standpoint.  What we need first…

1.  Identify those people who specifically need our love. There are distressed people all around us.  Don't forget your family members. As a caring Christian, we must act first. Take the initiative to show love to that spouse, church member, or neighbor.

 

2.  Second, don't wait for them to act first.

Reach out to them. If it’s someone you don’t know well, or a total stranger, tell them who you are.    Our classic line we often use is:  “If you need anything let me know.”    Very few people will let you know.   You need to act.

 

3. Communicate with them.

The three "T's" of relationship building are time, talk, and trust.

You’ve got to spend time with someone to communicate with them, and you’ve got to talk, and more importantly, listen, if you really want to be a good communicator.  Often times, the most important thing you can do to help someone is to listen to them.   Even today, a simple phone call to express concern means so much.  Don’t let your email do the talkin’, but let your voice be heard.   Your concern and compassion is show through your voice inflection.  Emails have their place, but they are no substitute for the real person.

 

4.  Empathize with them.

Figure out what their fears and concerns are and say, "I'm with you." You can’t always relate to what someone is going through, but you can express compassion and love and care.   You should also empathize through prayer for and with this person.  And make sure your actions back you up.  Don’t just say you care…show you care!

       The ministry of empathy is as practical as you can get. It means walking in another person's shoes. If you spend time communicating with a person that you have chosen to love, and you empathize with this friend, he or she is going to open up and show you his or her hurts and fears. That will give you a window of opportunity for touching that person's heart as Christ ministers through you. You may find out that your friend is hurting, or lonely or feeling guilty or is very concerned about a family member.   Express your concern.  Let them know your heart is touched too.

 

5.  Fifth, Listen without judging.

 Good listening requires concentration. It involves eye contact and body language. It means focusing exclusively on what the other person is trying to communicate. In this way, you can hear a person's heart, needs, and anxieties.    Reflective listening is the key.  It means that you repeat back to the person what you have heard or what it sounds like.  If someone is hurting, you say:  “Sounds like this really hurts…”   If someone is needing direction:  “That must be difficult not knowing what to do.  Let’s talk about it.   Avoid saying things like:

“That was dumb”

“Yep, that was a big mistake alright!”

“Good luck with that one.”

Express caring and compassion through your listening and wisdom that you may offer.

 

6.  Respond with a caring gift.

This can be in the form of something tangible that says, "I'm thinking of you," or "I'm with you.”  Someone brought me a case of cokes one time when I was sick and I’ve never forgotten it.  You can give an intangible gift as well, like the gift of forgiveness or the gift of encouraging words. You can do that.

If you follow this approach, you are showing practical, Christ-like love. We need to do that, because Christ commanded us to love one another as he loved us.

 

In Conclusion today, perhaps the most important thing to understand in becoming a caring family of God is that:           

            Everyone is important!

           

                Imagine, if you will, walking with me into a new church building. As we walk through the doors, we admire the carpet, the walls, the classrooms, the sanctuary and so on. As we are commenting on how nice everything is in that building, imagine that a lone nail holding down a shingle on the top of the roof says, "I'm not getting any praise. No one is saying how good a job I'm doing holding this shingle to the roof. I think I'm going to pull out. I think I'm just going to quit, because my role is not as important as others', and people are certainly not recognizing me."

 

So the nail pulls itself out from the shingles, slides down the roof, and falls into the dirt. Then it begins to rain. The nail removed itself from the protection of being under that shingle and a part of the church. It threw itself in the dirt, exposing itself to mud and rust, destruction and decay. (That is what it is like to be apart from the fellowship of believers. We must be intact.) The nail did not realize that its action not only affects itself, but it also affects others. For as the rains comes down, the shingle that no longer had the nail to keep it attached to the roof also comes loose. As the rains comes down, the water seeps through that shingle down the wall and ruins the carpet, causing greater damage than the nail could have imagined.

               

Every single one of you is important to the body of Christ. Whether you're recognized or not, whether you sense that you're loved or not, you are part of the body of Christ. As a Christian, you've been baptized into the body of Christ. No one is insignificant. Let us fulfill the purpose for which God made us, to love one another, and to receive love from one another. The church we have always longed for is a warm, nurturing place where we can grow in Christ and be renewed through loving him and one another, thus attracting others to the Savior.

           

Adapted from L. Diaz with changes/additions by D.Simpson